I just want someone to want me.
And want to be around me.
Am I that hideous?
Am I that void of personality?
Maybe my doctors right. I’ve become a zombie.
Numb and flat
Why does everyone get bored with me so quickly
okay folks
im turning off the lights….
getting in bed……
and playing resident evil till i falls asleep.
the life of a lonely hermit.
see you manana
My late night jumble of thoughts…
Have I buried my emotions so deep that I can’t feel them anymore?
Am I numb?
This can’t be, because I do feel things.
I feel frustration, loneliness, hopelessness, and want.
But do I feel joy, passion, or love? No.
My fake laughs are so automatic now that I can’t tell the real from the fake.
A fake smile doesn’t raise questions.
I’ve never been an extrovert, or felt free to be me. So maybe this isn’t something new.
Maybe the pills don’t numb me.
Maybe I do that on my own.
But one day I will feel it. That spark of life, the freedom to just be.
There was no light at the end of the tunnel for so long, just a dark imprisonment in my own mind.
But I think it’s there. It may not shine bright, and I may not be close.
But I’ve made so much progress so far….. I have to believe its there.
Even if I don’t believe- I have to force myself to. Because no one is going to rescue me. I just have to keep moving forward. One step at a time.
Nintendo 3ds
The fact that I dont know anyone who owns a 3DS makes me feel as lonely as my mii!!!!!!
